The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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