No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
