I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
