your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
