R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize