"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize