this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
