just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
