this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
