OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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