watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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