he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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