We're facebook friends in real life
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
two words...techno handjob
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
