I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So. Much. Porn.
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