Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
