I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
