Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
