Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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