There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize