Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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