it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
