do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
