operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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