I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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