Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize