the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
