I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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