Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize