I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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