She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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