I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
