so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
