why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
