I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
