I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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