i just had sex bonerless
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
