so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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