Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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