Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
