I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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