soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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