Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize