Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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