She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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