ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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