She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
