I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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