"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
whose ass print is on the piano?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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