i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
