Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
