Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
