The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
