So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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