You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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