Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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