Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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