Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
