420 ftw
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
