I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
