I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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