I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
