i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
