I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
