I wanna passion pit in your ass
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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