I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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