i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We talked him into tasing himself.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
