I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
